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Artist Detecting Part 2

I still haven't tracked him down, although I did speak to Miss. New York Gallerina and she was almost no help at all.

Me: Hello, this is Bernice calling from Podunk Canada.
She: Where? Who?


She: Oh.
Me: I left ten voice mails, sixteen emails and ten faxes to you this morning about getting a hold of Mr. Artist.
She: What did you say your name is again?

After ten minutes of explaining who I am and what I want AGAIN:

She: Oh, well, there's really nothing I can do for you. I mean. You know artists. They don't just drop their life to do media. Especially when it's not, like, the big media or anything.
Me: Oh no you di-int!
She: Oh yes I did bitch.

Ok, those last two things weren't said. Instead I pretty much thanked her for doing absolutely nothing for me and now, eight hours after I began, I sit here no closer to this artist then before. My new strategy- give Miss. New York Gallerina's number to the editor of the local paper and see if she tells him to his face that his paper is not important enough to merit an interview. Then at least he will feel slighted and I don't like him very much so it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen. Of course, it would definitely guarantee that my little exhibition will receive no publicity in the indie- apart from the expensive ad space I purchased last week.